im listening to shaggy.
on youtube, thats what im listening to. and my phone beep. my ears are great hearing devices, i should sell them on ebay. this orange bar keeps flashing at the bottomg of my eye, oh its nyleve on msn, i should so block that fuck.
as you can see here clearly, i have started a new paragraph.
man, the future, i have the future in my hands. and it is floating away. out of my head, from my ear. to other places
sometimes i feel like i dont have a partner, sometimes i feel like im always alone. so i wank.
you know sometimes, fat people annoy me. lucky im skinny or id annoy myself.
dreeEEEAAAm dream dream DREEAAAAmmm, when i want you, in my arms when i want you and all your charms, whenever i want you all i have to do is dream. when i feel blue, in the night, and i need you to hold me tight, whenever i want you all i have to do is dream. i can make you mine, taste your lips of wine, anytime, night or day, only trouble is jee wizz, im dreaming my life away. i need you so, that i could die, i love you so, and that is why, whenever i want you all i have to do is dream. and then ill masturbate furiously.
hey, did you every think
that everythiung goes
how its supposed to
the way life progresses
it was the way its supposed to be.
i have no idea what im talking about.
WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAH MY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE, MY DARLING, IVE HUNGERED FOR YOU TOUCH. A LOOOONNG, LONELY TIME AND TIIIIIME, GOES BHYYY, SOE SLOWLY, AND TIME CAN DO SOOOO MUCH, AAAAAA YOU STILL MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEE??? AAAAHHHHHHHIIII NEED YOUR LOVE, IIIII NEED YOUR LOVE, GOD SPEED YOUR LOVE TOOOOoooOOoOOooOOOOoo MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..... LONELY RIVERS FLOW, TO THE SEE TO THE SEA TO THE OPEN ARMS OF THE SEEEAAAAAHHHYEAAAHHH LONELY RIVERS SIGH, WAIT FOR ME WAIT FOR ME, ILL BE COMING HOME WAIT FOR ME.... OOOOOOOOHHHH MY LOVE, MY DARLING, IVE HUNGERED, HUNGERED!!! FOR YOUR TOUCH, FOR LONG YOU STILL MY LOVE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiIIiiiIiiII NEEEeeeeeEEEeeeeeD YOUR LOVE, I NEED YOUR LOVE, GOD SPEED LOVE YOUR LOVE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOO WHOOOOHOOHOHHH huUUuUHhHHHHHOPOOOOOO me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-idDbIfGvw&feature=related
this my friends, is the maker of wet vagina.
listen closely as the vagina wettens from his voice.
the dampener of vagina
the moisturising cream.
i wish i coould sing like that. *sighs* oh wells!!
this is epic.
so epic.
damned epic.
like my penis.
hey there, geogie boy, dancing there so fancy free.
im so looking up that song, homer sings it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VA5yWTbf38
hmmmm... not homer, but an ugly man who plays piano and sings like a woman. im pretty sure theyre not the real lyrics.
im not a player i just crush alot..
i dont wanna be a player anymore
but you know big pun and something somethng down the whore...
lay on his chest? MORE LIKE LAY ON HIS BREAST!! big pun is such a fatass. i like to call him Pig Bun makes him sound fatter, and somewhat edible.
who you trying to get crazy with ese''?? dont you know im loco??
like kylie mynouge and locomotion.
when insane, got no brain.
i hate it when the other guy raps in cypress hill. he is so shit. just let b real rap. sometimes i imagine his name is b peel. becuase i like to assume the b in his name stands for banana, so then his name would be banana peel.
hello my name is dr greenthumb, id just like to tell you where im from.
lakemba.
thats why i fcuked your bitch you fat motherfucker. take money. first off fuck your bitch and the click you claim. nigga i hit em up.
tupac is an angry guy.
everytime i close my eyes. i wake up feeling so horny.
fin.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
There Can Only Be One.
It was cold outside. I was on my cigarette break at work, night shift. It was lightly raining over me as I took the last few drags of my cigarette, enjoying the warm sensation as the cancerous smoke filled my lungs. The city was quiet, the buildings towered ominously above, like pillars for the clouds. The weather cleared the streets of the usual, contriving characters that infested them, though, I still felt uneasy as I stood there, as if being watched from the shadowy crevices of the dark alleyways that plagued this city. As I flicked the last of my cigarette out into the street, I caught a glimpse of a cadaverous figure from the corner of my eye. I whipped my neck in the direction of the ghostly silhouette, but was only met with the silent stare of the empty street.
I shuddered as I turned and went back inside. The foyer seemed haunting as the light buzzed and flickered above me. I stepped in front of the elevator door and pressed the 'UP' button, the elevator shaft emitted a painful shriek as the lift made its way down. As the lift doors opened, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I felt the same eerie feeling of being watched. Taking one more look outside at the empty, quiet street, I stepped inside the lift.
It was cramped, with a dim light poorly illuminating the small space. There were buttons with numbers on them all the way to 23 and a mirror on the opposite side. "I need a haircut" I thought to myself as I pressed the button with 17 on it. The doors creaked as it begun to slowly close when a dark boney hand held them open. A small man, dressed in a dark coat and fedora crept into the elevator, immediately facing away from me. Pressing the button with the number 23 on it, he folded his arms and muttered something to himself. His presence made me uneasy and I shuffled away from him as much as I could. In my slight desperation to create space between me and the odd fellow that had just entered, I bumped the back of my head on the mirror behind me, causing a thud. I suddenly froze, as the man slowly turned his head, grinning menacingly from ear to ear at me.
I felt goosebumps spread throughout my body and a cold shiver down my spine as I saw his face. It was dark, wrinkled, teeth glaring a festering yellow as his smile broadened. I feared for my life. Who was this guy? What was he going to do me? Why the FUCK was he smiling at me?!! These thoughts raced through my mind as a tiny squeek escaped from behind the man's coat. Just then, a somewhat foul smell filled the room and entered my nostrils. It smelled like eggs. The cunt farted. As the smell difused into the air, he kept his gaze on me, as if he were beckoning me, challenging me to do better. I took a deep breath, straightened my back, and slowly concentrated my energy to my bowels. A soft, but low sounding note resonated from my anus, the smell, slightly stinging the nostrils. The man sniffed the air and covered his face almost immediately as he coughed from wretched stench, his gaze never breaking. I looked at him, feeling content with what I had produced, but his smile only grew. Uncovering his face, he chuckled, "it's on, cunthole..."
As the lift made its way up the shaft we fired shots at each other, each one more intense than the last. The foul stench now stained the walls as we were determined to come out the victor. Level 3, level 6, the elevator kept rising, stopping at level 11, only to be met by the horrid wretching of an innocent bystander wanting to hitch a ride. The elevator continued on. Both of us were sweating, out of breath, our assholes burning, but neither of us would let up. Propping myself up against the mirror behind me, a puked a little inside my mouth, still determined to win. The man, now leaning a tad forward, was not smiling anymore. A cold, emotionless look filled his face as he pursed his lips and began to push. "HHHHNNNNGGGGGG!!" he moaned as an earsplitting drone came from his colon, its filthy odour assaulted my nostrils. It smelled as if someone didnt change the nappy of a 9 month old baby for a few days, decided to eat said nappy, then shit it out into a bucket of shit and piss. My eyes watered, I fell to one knee as I wretched and coughed. As I looked up, I saw him place his arms on his hips as if celebrating a victory well fought. I got up slowly, wiping some of the vomit from my mouth. He was grinning again. "A bit of shit came out with that one!" he taunted. Breathing heavily, it was now I who carried the emotionless and cold face "EEEENNNOOOOOUUUGGGGHHH!!" I roared as I squeezed with all my might.
The elevator shook violently as I looked within my soul to deliver the impossible. The man began to quiver in his boots and cowered into the corner, letting off the squeel of a little girl. I felt the room around me widen, as i lifted into the air, the energy circling around me. My clothes began to tear off me and my hair turned a bright yellow. My eyes glowing, I glared at the man and bellowed "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!" feeling my bowels shift as the elevator groaned under the pressure. The man screamed as an earthshattering roar left my ass, the stench like that of a thousand dying babies, shitting, puking and pissing at the same exact moment. Light filled the room as I unleashed the ungodly stink, then as quickly as the light came, it was dark.
The elevator dinged as the door opened on level 17, stepping out I basked in the ambiance of my victory, my foe sprawled on the ground, unconcious. I felt a hand tap my shoulder and I turned around. My boss was standing there "How long have you been on your break fo-... what the fuck is that smell?". I only stood there and smiled at him, the battle was well fought, and I came out victorious, I was content.
"Dude, did you shit your pants?"
"Yes, sir. I did".
Fin.
I shuddered as I turned and went back inside. The foyer seemed haunting as the light buzzed and flickered above me. I stepped in front of the elevator door and pressed the 'UP' button, the elevator shaft emitted a painful shriek as the lift made its way down. As the lift doors opened, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I felt the same eerie feeling of being watched. Taking one more look outside at the empty, quiet street, I stepped inside the lift.
It was cramped, with a dim light poorly illuminating the small space. There were buttons with numbers on them all the way to 23 and a mirror on the opposite side. "I need a haircut" I thought to myself as I pressed the button with 17 on it. The doors creaked as it begun to slowly close when a dark boney hand held them open. A small man, dressed in a dark coat and fedora crept into the elevator, immediately facing away from me. Pressing the button with the number 23 on it, he folded his arms and muttered something to himself. His presence made me uneasy and I shuffled away from him as much as I could. In my slight desperation to create space between me and the odd fellow that had just entered, I bumped the back of my head on the mirror behind me, causing a thud. I suddenly froze, as the man slowly turned his head, grinning menacingly from ear to ear at me.
I felt goosebumps spread throughout my body and a cold shiver down my spine as I saw his face. It was dark, wrinkled, teeth glaring a festering yellow as his smile broadened. I feared for my life. Who was this guy? What was he going to do me? Why the FUCK was he smiling at me?!! These thoughts raced through my mind as a tiny squeek escaped from behind the man's coat. Just then, a somewhat foul smell filled the room and entered my nostrils. It smelled like eggs. The cunt farted. As the smell difused into the air, he kept his gaze on me, as if he were beckoning me, challenging me to do better. I took a deep breath, straightened my back, and slowly concentrated my energy to my bowels. A soft, but low sounding note resonated from my anus, the smell, slightly stinging the nostrils. The man sniffed the air and covered his face almost immediately as he coughed from wretched stench, his gaze never breaking. I looked at him, feeling content with what I had produced, but his smile only grew. Uncovering his face, he chuckled, "it's on, cunthole..."
As the lift made its way up the shaft we fired shots at each other, each one more intense than the last. The foul stench now stained the walls as we were determined to come out the victor. Level 3, level 6, the elevator kept rising, stopping at level 11, only to be met by the horrid wretching of an innocent bystander wanting to hitch a ride. The elevator continued on. Both of us were sweating, out of breath, our assholes burning, but neither of us would let up. Propping myself up against the mirror behind me, a puked a little inside my mouth, still determined to win. The man, now leaning a tad forward, was not smiling anymore. A cold, emotionless look filled his face as he pursed his lips and began to push. "HHHHNNNNGGGGGG!!" he moaned as an earsplitting drone came from his colon, its filthy odour assaulted my nostrils. It smelled as if someone didnt change the nappy of a 9 month old baby for a few days, decided to eat said nappy, then shit it out into a bucket of shit and piss. My eyes watered, I fell to one knee as I wretched and coughed. As I looked up, I saw him place his arms on his hips as if celebrating a victory well fought. I got up slowly, wiping some of the vomit from my mouth. He was grinning again. "A bit of shit came out with that one!" he taunted. Breathing heavily, it was now I who carried the emotionless and cold face "EEEENNNOOOOOUUUGGGGHHH!!" I roared as I squeezed with all my might.
The elevator shook violently as I looked within my soul to deliver the impossible. The man began to quiver in his boots and cowered into the corner, letting off the squeel of a little girl. I felt the room around me widen, as i lifted into the air, the energy circling around me. My clothes began to tear off me and my hair turned a bright yellow. My eyes glowing, I glared at the man and bellowed "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!" feeling my bowels shift as the elevator groaned under the pressure. The man screamed as an earthshattering roar left my ass, the stench like that of a thousand dying babies, shitting, puking and pissing at the same exact moment. Light filled the room as I unleashed the ungodly stink, then as quickly as the light came, it was dark.
The elevator dinged as the door opened on level 17, stepping out I basked in the ambiance of my victory, my foe sprawled on the ground, unconcious. I felt a hand tap my shoulder and I turned around. My boss was standing there "How long have you been on your break fo-... what the fuck is that smell?". I only stood there and smiled at him, the battle was well fought, and I came out victorious, I was content.
"Dude, did you shit your pants?"
"Yes, sir. I did".
Fin.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
